This Chaotic World

Your good thing was staring you in the face the whole time but you didn’t see it. Maybe you did but you didn’t want to believe it. I fought with everything in me to show that I cared And prayed that you’d come around because you were just scared Day in and day out I put my trust in you Just for you to one day say you were threw That’s fine I say but….You will miss me   So now it’s all about me and my sanity I have to get back what was taken away from me All the love, all the care, its way to much to bear Because of you selfishness there is so much to repair  Crying is easy but that doesn’t ease the pain I feel Everything reminds me of you and this doesn’t seem real But the sad truth is, He is gonna miss me   As the days and months go by and much to my surprise My smile has returned and so has the light in my eyes I can breathe again, I can live again and I’m happy again Nothing can stop me because in this battle of life I will win I started loving and caring for myself the way I should

My heart aches daily. My head aches daily. I have way too many sleepless nights. Wine is the only sleep medicine I can take and that still doesn’t help any. What is the problem? is it me? am I not pretty enough. Am I not worthy to be loved. Have I done anything in my past so bad that karma is punishing me. is God punishing me. I just don’t get it. No one deserves to have their heart shattered to pieces and then be left alone to glue them back together. I’m trying but it feels like some of these puzzle pieces are missing. I missing pieces from the middle and some corners. Until I find them I guess I will suffer in silence because no one can help me figure this out. So I get up daily to face this cruel alone with a mask on my face. I smile, I joke, I seem to have things all figured out.  But all the while my mind is racing trying to figure out where the pieces of my heart can be. The puzzle is too big. I mean this puzzle is bigger than 5000 pieces. Well maybe that’s because my heart was